The Art of Cohabitating

I hope you didn’t click on this page expecting to find the trick to a successful merging of 2 lives under one roof, because I certainly don’t have the answer to that. I am not a therapist. I am not an expert by any means. I am just a 30 year old woman who has been living with my now-fiancé for the last 3 years. We had a roommate with us until 3 months ago. So, really, we have been truly cohabitating as a couple for a very short period of time.

I will be the first to admit, I get a little crazy about the cleanliness of our home. I feel like I am constantly picking up Chris’ trails of random belongings that he seems to leave all over the house. There is a hat on the coffee-table, chapstick on the dining room table {chapsticks everywhere actually}, a cup here, a mug there, shoes in this room and don’t even get me started on what the kitchen counter looks like when he gets home. You know those things called “landing baskets”? Yeah, well he doesn’t. I have made 3 for him and dedicated 2 whole drawers in our kitchen for his stuff {better known as junk drawers}, but he still leaves everything out all over the place for me to get just a little more crazy each time I walk by it. Then I am obsessively picking up, wiping down and following him all around the house to spruce up his little messes. I do realize I need to pipe down a bit, but this girl just wants to keep a tidy home!

When Chris does any type of yard work, I don’t think he is even mildly aware of the dirt he tracks in all over the house. And he leaves his laundry in the dryer for a week until I discover it. Normally, his laundry basket is in the laundry room as well and a tiny corner in our bathroom becomes his dirty clothes toss-pile.

But I say all of this to bring up another point; without him, all of this nesting and all of my desire to keep a tidy, lovely home would be nonexistent. And this boy puts up with ME! This amazing man doesn’t fight back when I go into crazy cleaning mode and ask him, “where does this go” and “can you please put this back in the shed?”. He is a damn patient man and I am so fortunate for him. He fixes things I would have no idea where to begin with. He cleans the hair out of the drain {which is all mine}. He kills and picks up dead cockroaches. When I was single, I would just drown them in bug spray nearly killing me and my Shih Tzu, Gatsby, of poisoning. Then I would vacuum them up. I hate roaches. He lets me play Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald on high when we’re hanging out at home without complaining even though I know its not his first choice. He cooks almost every homemade meal we eat. He doesn’t rush me when I am in the bathroom for a half hour getting ready for bed doing my nightly rituals of lotions and potions when he only wants to brush his teeth.

We are all quirky and weird and have funny little life habits. Living with someone really forces us to open up and show them everything. It’s intimate and beautiful and challenging. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. But it definitely takes patience and practice. Chris and I get along better now then ever. Perhaps its because we’ve learned each other’s “daily flow” and know exactly what to expect. We have accepted each other for the great things we each bring into the home and the complications we bring inside as well. I know many of you have been married for years and have a lot more up your sleeve in terms of tips and tricks for a successful cohabitation. I believe it always comes down to acceptance and praise. No matter how we change as we grow older, accepting your significant other for who they are and thanking them everyday for what they do, is what is really at the heart of the home.

 

“Oh, and she had the goods on me, too, she knew all my little peccadillos. People call these things imperfections, but they’re not, aw, that’s the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let in to our weird little worlds.”   – Good Will Hunting {an all time favorite quote on relationships}

 

Chris is away on business right now…as you may be able to tell, I miss him terribly. This house isn’t home, no matter how much I decorate and tidy up, without my cute cohabitater.

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Chris, thanks for all that you do to make our house a home. But at the end of the day, you are my home.

 

 

{Yours in Design – Meg}

 

Meghan Kathleen

I’m a creative junkie, DIY-er, sanctuary-seeking, wine-drinking, yoga believer with an itch to write a little bit. Newlywed, hopeful mom-to-be and devoted believer in Universal Energy. Peace and good vibes, please and thanks!

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